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How to get the most from asking Why!


There are empowering questions and then there are disempowering questions. The questions we ask contain assumptions, so carefully attending to what questions you are asking yourself and how you phrase your questions

is vital to getting answers that will benefit you.


For example, if we ask, “Why did this happen to me?” that question assumes the energy of victimhood—of powerlessness.


However, if we ask, “Why NOT me?” that question assumes we are active agents in the events that happen to us and around us. It assumes agency. Therefore, it assumes we have gifts, abilities, and insights that will move us and/or our society forward when we choose and act on the options available to us after reflecting on this question.


With one question, you’re doomed and stuck with the situation. With another question, you’re propelled forward into new possibilities.


There are other ways to use Why questions as well. A Japanese business model from Toyoda, the founder of Toyota, uses “5 Whys” to examine their processes to create better workflow and improve efficiency. For example, if they continue to have a product or a system break down, they’ll ask 1 Why. Why did this happen? Then once they’ve discovered the answer, they’ll ask another “And why did that happen?” and so forth until they’ve gotten to the root of the issue and solved it once and for all. They’ve found that 5 Whys are the most that’s needed to get to the root of an issue and solve it there.


I’ve discovered this 5 Whys useful for spiritual and energy work. If I look at an energy issue in somebody’s biofield that doesn’t want to clear, I’ll ask why. Then I’ll ask another why, “Why is it there?” and then I’ll ask again, “And why did that happen?” and so forth, until I’ve found all the layers that are the root of how this energy pattern started.


The same is true for any inner process work. Here’s something I might have a conversation with myself with 5 whys:


I might ask, “Why am I sad?”

I realize I’ve heard some news that impacted me emotionally—the death of a friend.


Then my 2nd why, “Why is that causing me sadness?”

Because I will miss her.


My 3rd why, “Why will I miss her?”

Because she brought a lot of kindness into my life at a time when I really needed it and has been a true friend since then.


My 4th why, “Why am I grieving these gifts she brought me?

I’m afraid of the loss of my connection to her and these gifts.


And finally, my 5th why, “Why do I fear this loss?”

Oh, I see, the fear is not truly true. I am still connected to her in Spirit, always will be, and am always connected to universal kindness. I have lost only my physical connection to her. I can bless her soul’s journey, and remain connected to her in a new way, while I grieve the loss of my physical connection.


It is important to ask these 5 whys gently and from a place of curiosity, rather than harsh investigation. Gentle curiosity opens the energies up to reveal their source.


Play with empowering why questions and ask curious 5 Why questions to see if you can find the roots of any place where you’re stuck. Let me know how it goes!

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copyright © Monica McDowell 2022


If you are so moved and are able, please consider supporting my writing by making a donation (PayPal Donate button on bottom of every page) or buying one of my books. Thank you!


Monica McDowell is a dynamic speaker, author, and practitioner in alternative wellness and spirituality. Find her on Thought Catalog here. She is the author of The Oracle of Devor, The Girl with a Gift, Confessions of a Mystic Soccer Mom, You are Light (internationally published by 6th Books in over 14 countries) and My Karma Ran Over My Dogma, and has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in America granted civil rights by a federal ruling. She lives in Seattle, Washington, USA, and can be reached at monica@monicamcdowell.com.


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My next book is coming along well! I hope to have it self-published in 2023. Fingers crossed! In the meantime, I'll give you snippets along the way. Here's the intro...


"It was do or die. Most likely, die.


Nadia knew what had to be done. She knew because she had been here before. Her dad, however, was not one to believe in ghost stories. So she was terrified he was going to be stuck in this hellhole forever, or even be killed by the monstrous half-lives that lived in this abyss below their town. How could she convince him to trust her? To follow her? To give up everything he believed in and do exactly as she told him to do?


She wasn’t confident she could convince him. He had wasted away—his body and his mind. He might not even remember her. He had to trust her, though. He had to. If he didn’t, she’d be alone and orphaned at best; at worst, she could be caught forever in this middle world with him. She had already been warned by a half-life that they would probably die trying to escape together."


Keep writing, keep creating, keep resting and playing so you can keep writing and creating!

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copyright © Monica McDowell 2022


If you are so moved and are able, please consider supporting my writing by making a donation (PayPal Donate button on bottom of every page) or buying one of my books. Thank you!


Monica McDowell is a dynamic speaker, author, and practitioner in alternative wellness and spirituality. Find her on Thought Catalog here. She is the author of The Oracle of Devor, The Girl with a Gift, Confessions of a Mystic Soccer Mom, You are Light (internationally published by 6th Books in over 14 countries) and My Karma Ran Over My Dogma, and has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in America granted civil rights by a federal ruling. She lives in Seattle, Washington, USA, and can be reached at monica@monicamcdowell.com.

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Boundaries are good things, yes? Defined appropriately and used with wisdom they help to create mutually enriching relationships. Even more so with energy boundaries. The more we are aware of where our energy boundaries are and how to repair and strengthen them, the more we can experience total safety within ourselves in a world that sometimes doesn’t appear very welcoming to our true natures.

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For those of us who are empaths, energy boundary repair and strengthening is even more important. We can feel the world, amirite? And with all the upheaval going on right now (yesterday was a tough one), we can be overwhelmed very easily.

So how do we repair and strengthen our energy boundaries?

  • First, I've got a couple of videos of energy exercises that will help you both get in touch with your energetic boundaries and repair and strengthen them all at the same time. See those below.

  • Second, one of the most important tools you can use for any kind of energy healing is to set a strong, positive, clear intention, such as "My energy can go out, and no one else's energy can come in." It can take time to re-pattern your energy fields with thoughts only. So visualize yourself in a nice, big golden bubble and see anything coming towards you as dissolving in the outer layer of that golden bubble, or connecting with it and then just falling safely to the ground. This helps your mind

connect with your energy, your body, and your thoughts, making a trifecta that works some powerful juju.

• Third, if something does get through, do the work to process and release it and then re-set your intentions again.

• Fourth, practice, practice, practice! As many of you know, I dream other people's dreams. It's sometimes perplexing, sometimes upsetting, and I know it means I'm probably effing up on my boundaries somewhere. Ahem. So keep practicing. My dreamscape is much more my own these days after continuing to keep at all of the tips above and practicing the exercises in the videos below!



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copyright © Monica McDowell 2022


If you are so moved and are able, please consider supporting my writing by making a donation (PayPal Donate button on bottom of every page) or buying one of my books. Thank you!


Monica McDowell is a dynamic speaker, author, and practitioner in alternative wellness and spirituality. Find her on Thought Catalog here. She is the author of The Oracle of Devor, The Girl with a Gift, Confessions of a Mystic Soccer Mom, You are Light (internationally published by 6th Books in over 14 countries) and My Karma Ran Over My Dogma, and has the distinction of being the first ordained minister in America granted civil rights by a federal ruling. She lives in Seattle, Washington, USA, and can be reached at monica@monicamcdowell.com.

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